One message is all it takes, and I'm in it again.

Gosh, there's just something about you. Something amazing that I can't get enough of. I thought I finally got over this. I thought I was finally able to think rationally about you.

We spent ONE weekend together. In reality, we probably talked for only a few hours. And in reality, were those few hours enough to fall for someone? 

I really don't know a thing about you.

I know your name.

I know your face.

I know your birthday.

I know that you have two brothers and you love cats.

I know that your mom lost her job recently.

I know you have a Canon dslr.

I know you're vegan.

I know you're at Weimar. 

And... what does that all add up to? I might know another dozen random facts about you, but where does it all lead? Somehow it lead me to like you. Still, this is all so frustrating. 

It's always like this, isn't it? The person that you like the most, doesn't ever like you back. Maybe that's not always the case, but in my life it has been. Haven't we all had a special someone we liked so much knowing that it could never work out?

But why can't this work out?

Because you're too far.

There is a physical distance.

There is a spiritual distance.

And there is an emotional distance.

In other words, you're hundreds of miles away.

In other words, I'd bring you away from God.

In other words, you don't like me.

I haven't told you how I feel, and I know I should have that one weekend we were together. I chickened out though, and now I'm regretting it more than ever. If I just had another chance, I know I'd take it in a second. 

But here I am again. One message is all it takes, Lea.

I like you, I like you, I like you.

Yeah, I'm in it again. I'm in it again.

First, the bad stuff.

I got a flat tire today. Thankfully Bryce was with me at the time, and with his help, we were able to change the flat for the donut. Made an appointment at discount tires for tomorrow. 233 dollars later, I'll have two new tires! But I'm shot by the money gun again! :[ 

Good thing I got paid today! 

So starts the "Good things" part of this blog.

Midterms are finally over.

No midterm for Stats.

Got an A on my music theory midterm!

Vocal midterm went well too!

Virology went as expected... haha hopefully a B? 

But after my virology exam, it felt like a great weight was lifted off my shoulders. It felt like I could fly!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But of course, that's impossible... lol

(i looked so ridiculous doing this in the middle of campus lol)

Screw you.

Ah... I'm just overly sensitive. And I thought I took care of that a long time ago. Anyways, who cares! You're just an internet friend. You're not a real life friend. I've never met you. You shouldn't mean anything.

...

Why do I care then? I dont know... but the fact is, I do care.

Do you like me as a friend? Do you think my writing is worth reading? Do you find me interesting enough to stick around? I care about all these things.

Sure, you're an online friend, but you're still a friend. I don't have a lot of real life friends to begin with so is it weird to count online friends among your "real" ones? Is that dumb of me? I don't know. Even if our interaction is limited and we only get glimpses of each others lives, I still care about you as a friend. 

Ah, whatever. Why am I getting so worked up over such a little thing. I'm hopeless. 

I've known these people for 12 years. Some of my best friends. It's crazy to think about all the stuff we've been through.

Randon was my first friend in middle school. Bryan was the best friend I almost never had. Mai and I were enemies, then friends, then carpool buddies, then best friends. And Stevan... as I told you the other day, you're my Mexican best friend. haha

It's nice to have people that you've known for so long. Even though I don't talk to them everyday, whenever we do get together, I discover that nothing has changed. We're all still best friends. 

We went to middle school together.

We went to high school together.

We went to college together.

In a year or so that will change, and our streak will be over. Still, I'm sure whenever we get together nothing will have really changed. 

Nope. It will all be the same. 

and laughter will ensue